On a random dinner out, followed by a couple beers… I happened to run into a previous date….
Said date made it to a third date months and months ago. It was not to be.
On this random dinner out, shall we call him Alex? Alex made quite a few statements. Like how ready he was to settle down with a nice girl, between the ages of 24-26. When I revealed my age that just so happens to fall out of his age bracket, he quickly retracted the statement. Alex also declared that soon a man would come and financially take care of me, so spending extra money on an apartment now was fine. I”d never worry again about finances according to him.
Alex said a lot of things that night. Many causing me to choke down my beer. However, the one comment I just cannot ignore..
That now his life was perfect, therefore he can now make someone happy.
I cannot get over this. I was unaware relationships hinged on perfection.
One needs the perfect job, expensive apartment, perfect schedule and perfect family life in order to have a relationship and make someone else happy?
I must have this all wrong.
What I’ve learned is that the struggle and the uncertainty make achievements perfect. When someone stands beside me through illness, through long distance, through taking a step back and renting that cheaper apartment.. through the not so perfect job.. when someone thoroughly thinks I’m beautiful, despite the fact that my 25 year old body no longer exists..
When somebody stands beside me in the ultimate nonperfection.. that’s when I know it will lead to happiness.
Not when the other aspects of life seem to fall into place.
I want the foundation that is built upon illness, financial stress, distance and perseverance. When we’ve gone through the ups and the downs..
When we talked and prayed through the tough decisions..
When we’ve made our choices together..
When I can look back on all that was built through the great times and the struggles; I’m all in.
Sorry Alex, but I’ll pass on a tour of that beautiful new apartment of yours. I’m a bit busy building my nonperfect life.