Old Favorites

When friends are off to green pastures in far away states, a proper send off is necessary. A trip to old favorites to start the journey.

Old favorites like Lotus.

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(This bowl of broth, noodles and spice brings back so many Vietnam memories :))

Speaking of old favorites, here are a few of my old favorite posts!

1)Just too Picky?

2) Bat Sh*t Crazy Good

3) Can I get that on a paper plate?

4) Lost in an Irish Field

5) Hello 29

6) I’ll be Seeing you Soon

Happy Almost Weekend ūüôā

A Series of unfortunate events….

Sunday blues? Have they hangovered into Monday?

Rough morning?

Well, what is the saying…. misery loves company?

How about some comedy to start off your week?

Perhaps my series of unfortunate events will elicit a Monday laugh…

First: Cue another totally awful pick up line. Like from Mr. Crazy who just won’t leave. Like cannot get the subtle hint, nor the directive to leave.

“hey you in the gray dress…. you are the queen…. your face shape turns me on. I lay hard wood for a living…. every woman likes it laid hard.”

…………….. FOR REAL.

Second: Picture your favorite work out studio/gym/whatever… you are a semi new student in this class…. class is going, sweat is flowing… you’ve got your jump on and are in crazy mode, doing those intense jump squats on the TRX bands….

And then the end of class approaches. In your head, you killed it. You are finally feeling like you’ve done a good job, adjusted to this class.

You’re stretching out and look down.

And there it is. You’ve split your yoga pants. And you are commando. HELLO. let me waddle out of here and pray to god no one noticed.

#theynoticed

Third: The worst Friday night blind date ever. Like he hadn’t matured past 17. I now know¬†many credits he received for every single grad school class he ever attended. His pictures… so much better than in person. His online persona… 100 times different than in reality. I felt 47 talking to a 17 year old. The mismatched pairing could not have been worse.

Upon ordering the bacon wrapped shrimp appetizer… he asked if I was a vegetarian….

It got worse.

(post date, the dating app informed me that it was out of availble men.  Zero eligible bachelors left.)

Figures.

Nothing like attending the Northeast Brewers Block Party to erase the events away.

How was your weekend?

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Comedy with a Dash of Insult and Creep

Heres the thing:

Said dating website is funny and all.  Daily comedy delivered to your inbox.  But mixed in with the comedy is a bit of insult, creepy and just beyond disturbing.

All of this comedy mixed with creep does not come free. Its like a lovely $30-40 a month.  And that my friends is a lot of Starbucks.  Yes, I admit I budget in how many Iced Grande Soy Lattes I could have drank at the Bucks.

So, when hypothtically, one goes to cancel said membership to said dating website….. The canceling part is easy. One, maybe two, please don’t go, please tell us why click through boxes.

Did you meet someone? Ehh…. Did you¬†not see any matches? ehhh…

And then you have like two weeks left on this lovely membership.¬† And in those two weeks you have not once received an email/wink/flirt/you-name-it put-it-here…. nor have you even had the slighest desire to check in to this lovely website.

And then Day Zero arrives.¬† The day it officially cancels your membership…. remember when I said canceling was easy?

O NO Friends. The said website sends over 30 winks/flirts/emails/you-name-it-put-it-here on that last day.¬† It is determined to feature you in as many potential beau’s feeds as possible.¬† And I’m quite certain it bribes them into emailing you. ALL of them. Perhaps with free entry to the next “in person dating event”?

And yet these emails are still not what one should be looking for.¬† Dear Sir, if you want to eat my leftover/used pizza crust after I’m done with it??!?! YIKES.

If you are emailing to complain about the weather, it will not entice me to renew the membership. I can go to Twitter for that.

Thank you so much for the barade of men today website.

 Over and out.

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