Online Dating = Mini Oranges

The online comedy escapades continue.

I swore I was only trying this for one month. ONE. But now I’m like… just one MORE month… hey, why not? I’m still getting daily comedy out of the thing!

Comedic relief below:

Males, I beg of you, please stop addressing us with, “Hey there cutie.” Thanks but I’m fast approaching the end of my twenties and no longer wish to be referred to as a mini orange. (if this reference leaves you scratching your head, you need to eat more fruit/watch more commercials)

Just a heads up, if you are openly searching for a “winter companion”, I will not respond.

The whole, you should be in a Colgate commercial line….. I give a half point for the effort. Its only slightly better than, “I love your smile.”

Starting off your email with, “From your profile you don’t seem Cray Cray.” Hmm if I was looking for a man who’ll speak to me in abbreviations, I’d head to the bars around 1:45am…. there is sure to be a buffet of males able to talk only in abbreviated form.

And Insults as the new compliment? When you send a one-liner stating “Ugh I don’t know what to do with you (mad face emotion))”… do you expect this to elicit a response? No wonder you are 38 and single buddy.

 And finally, Chocolate. Stop using the word chocolate in your screen name. Chocolatebear, BigChocolate, SexyChocolate. All you are doing is conjuring up images of sleazy 90s music videos… cue the candles, food props and shirtless hip thrusting men.

After leaving you with that visual, enjoy the weekend 🙂

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Bringing Back The Weekend

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Lately the law library is just a distant memory……

A memory being pushed away with wine tastings….

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 Chased away with champagne….. and perhaps an indulgence in chocolate..

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Yes that is a bacon chocolate bar! you too could Indulge here.

By sitting as close as you can get to an outdoor patio…..

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By picking up a bunch of tulips and pretending spring showed up… (these were the last ones, so I wasn’t the only one attempting to fake spring)

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How was your weekend? Can we bring it back already??