Birthdays and Kumquat Trees..

When you turn 36, I hear Kumquat trees are the perfect gift.

At least for some 🙂

Yes there’s a back story there, one of lasagna and jokes, cocktails and kumquat upside down cake.

Which naturally leads one to purchase a kumquat tree for a birthday present.

Normal, right?

Yeah, I bought a kumquat tree.

FullSizeRender (82)

It was a weekend of birthdays and accidents.

A weekend of wine and Bolognese.

FullSizeRender (83)

Baby showers and sperm poems.

Yes, I wrote a poem that may or may not have included sperm jokes.

Bring back the weekend already?!

How was yours?

The Sauce Off

The office was full of talk for weeks. Good natured bantering, nonstop.

We were about to have a Bolognese sauce off!

Who would make the Bolognese sauce which would reign supreme?

The day of the sauce off arrived and I rushed to gather the essentials. Ok not rushed. I leisurely perused Whole Foods. I could spend hours there choosing ingredients. I’m available for hire, if you’d like a personal grocery shopper 😉

FullSizeRender (12)

My sauce sat and simmered for almost six hours. Its all about that simmer.

FullSizeRender (10)

Three other sauces arrived and we had quite the taste off. Every sauce was quite different. Mine swung more towards traditional. I cannot fight against my Sicilian Italian roots.

A little voting system was in order..

FullSizeRender (11)

Might I humbly say….. my sauce won!

Some argued Venue, that my hosting the completion had a sway. But the sauce SPOKE FOR ITSELF.

Thank you very much.

Have you ever hosted a sauce off or cooking competition?

Just Tindering Away….

You know that app, the one everyone says is a hook up app?

Yeah that one. The one I swore I wouldn’t dare go near..

Yep. Tinder.

Well a friend of mine downloaded it to my phone. Purely so I could say, “hey a friend downloaded it, not me!”

I’ve seen beyond the strangest things on there.

Like the rebirth of the “flavor savor”, a man in his wedding photo, the ever present fish holder, bathroom shots with urinal props, the office cube picture, a man and his clearly visible wedding ring, a plethora of pilots, and of course, a dude holding a fox.

Because foxes turn women on???

Despite the fox holders theres a glimmer of hope, and a match seems normal. So you go. And he shows up sweating profusely post bike ride.

With or without the sweat you would have never recognized him. You’re still unsure if it was the same person…. his photos must have been 12 years old…

And then, here it comes: he discloses the tests he puts women through. First he orders chicken wings, as he wants his date to eat them, yet eat them “appropriately”. Second he tells such an inappropriate joke, one that no one in their right mind should laugh at, as he needs to judge the women’s moral foundation. Finally, his third test, he would not divulge, as perhaps he had “already put me through it.”

So with that, app deleted.

Nothing like an app deletion and a trip to Milwaukee to ease the strangeness.

G spoils me every time I’m in town. Homemade Bolognese, be still my heart.

photo (303)

Followed by a dinner the next night at my ultimate fav, Odd Duck

photo (305)

photo (304)

A night out with friends, enough to erase away any memory of that encounter.

photo (306)

Have you ever tried that crazy app?