A Series of unfortunate events….

Sunday blues? Have they hangovered into Monday?

Rough morning?

Well, what is the saying…. misery loves company?

How about some comedy to start off your week?

Perhaps my series of unfortunate events will elicit a Monday laugh…

First: Cue another totally awful pick up line. Like from Mr. Crazy who just won’t leave. Like cannot get the subtle hint, nor the directive to leave.

“hey you in the gray dress…. you are the queen…. your face shape turns me on. I lay hard wood for a living…. every woman likes it laid hard.”

…………….. FOR REAL.

Second: Picture your favorite work out studio/gym/whatever… you are a semi new student in this class…. class is going, sweat is flowing… you’ve got your jump on and are in crazy mode, doing those intense jump squats on the TRX bands….

And then the end of class approaches. In your head, you killed it. You are finally feeling like you’ve done a good job, adjusted to this class.

You’re stretching out and look down.

And there it is. You’ve split your yoga pants. And you are commando. HELLO. let me waddle out of here and pray to god no one noticed.

#theynoticed

Third: The worst Friday night blind date ever. Like he hadn’t matured past 17. I now know many credits he received for every single grad school class he ever attended. His pictures… so much better than in person. His online persona… 100 times different than in reality. I felt 47 talking to a 17 year old. The mismatched pairing could not have been worse.

Upon ordering the bacon wrapped shrimp appetizer… he asked if I was a vegetarian….

It got worse.

(post date, the dating app informed me that it was out of availble men.  Zero eligible bachelors left.)

Figures.

Nothing like attending the Northeast Brewers Block Party to erase the events away.

How was your weekend?

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9 thoughts on “A Series of unfortunate events….

  1. Oh noooooo Christina!!!! As much as I feel so horrible for these things that happened, I do appreciate a really good laugh on a Monday morning 🙂 I can’t believe these happened to you!!

  2. Oh my goodness. I won’t laugh at your misfortune, I promise! Maybe a little at the hardwood flooring. And maybe a little at the yoga pants. I’m sorry you had a bad weekend…I hope this week is way better!

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