Happy New Year to all!
Do you know what time it is?
The next couple of weeks are what I like to call… treacherous gym time! Where the treadmill lines last for miles… when you cannot find a parking spot.. when the yoga line starts 45 minutes before class… your mats are overlapping and the woman next to you keeps elbowing your hip..
Treacherous gym time calls for a bit of sarcasm:
Like the time I returned to a certain yoga class and studio… After a two year hiatus..
My apprehension was high..
The women around me decked out in Lulu…. my pants were TJ Maxx.. The man next to me as hipster as can be, and you’re sure the pork belly, side of mac and cheese you consumed the day before is obvious to him and he’s openly judging it…
He’s doing some sort of jumping push up.. his long hair loose and already sweaty, sticking to his beyond toned body… Seriously dude, what are you trying to do to me?
Up goes the intimidation factor…
What did I just get myself into?
In walks the instructor… not an ounce of fat.. instantly morphing into an army drill master..
Someone behind you whispers… prepare for animal style! You pray for survival and that no one just saw your eyes bulge out of your head.
The intention you set for class is one of begging for unknown upper body strength to magically appear.
It begins… a few down dogs.. a nice flow.. ok I can do this..
But all of a sudden. You are eating your own sweat, no sucking it down as you attempt to breathe (one breath one movement people!)..
If I have to do any more mountain climbers!
Lord, Why did I eat that bacon jam?!
Ten minutes in and you can no longer tell if its sweat or tears of thigh burn dousing your mat…
The instructor keeps yelling, ONE MORE SET… and each time it is a LIE!
Just stop giving me false hope!
What do you mean its time for heavy weights?? I can no longer lift my 3 pounders…
My chances of survival dropping…
THEN! Finally, at the point of utter numbness, dead man pose time. Pain and energy sear through the body, total muscle confusion. And yet, it is a positive conundrum….
So positive in fact, that one class turns into two, then three, then what just happened to my paycheck?
Can anyone relate? 🙂
To those who have committed or recommitted to fitness in 2014, cheers to you, may this be your best year yet!