Online Dating = Mini Oranges

The online comedy escapades continue.

I swore I was only trying this for one month. ONE. But now I’m like… just one MORE month… hey, why not? I’m still getting daily comedy out of the thing!

Comedic relief below:

Males, I beg of you, please stop addressing us with, “Hey there cutie.” Thanks but I’m fast approaching the end of my twenties and no longer wish to be referred to as a mini orange. (if this reference leaves you scratching your head, you need to eat more fruit/watch more commercials)

Just a heads up, if you are openly searching for a “winter companion”, I will not respond.

The whole, you should be in a Colgate commercial line….. I give a half point for the effort. Its only slightly better than, “I love your smile.”

Starting off your email with, “From your profile you don’t seem Cray Cray.” Hmm if I was looking for a man who’ll speak to me in abbreviations, I’d head to the bars around 1:45am…. there is sure to be a buffet of males able to talk only in abbreviated form.

And Insults as the new compliment? When you send a one-liner stating “Ugh I don’t know what to do with you (mad face emotion))”… do you expect this to elicit a response? No wonder you are 38 and single buddy.

 And finally, Chocolate. Stop using the word chocolate in your screen name. Chocolatebear, BigChocolate, SexyChocolate. All you are doing is conjuring up images of sleazy 90s music videos… cue the candles, food props and shirtless hip thrusting men.

After leaving you with that visual, enjoy the weekend 🙂

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5 thoughts on “Online Dating = Mini Oranges

  1. hey there cutie, great post…you need to start a book. Of course it will end with a happily ever after, just need to put up with the chocolatey male buffet first to fill the pages 🙂

  2. bahahaha this is awesome. i haven’t started dating yet since my last relationship ended but if this is what i have to loo forward to, i’m not looking forward to it! haha

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