There exists this interesting complex here in the Midwest, and who knows, maybe it is the same across the country….
If you cannot recognize the sarcasm dripping from these words, I suggest you end here.
When you enter the “late twenties” and are single in the Midwest… the crazies and the craziness comes out. Often times I equate this to an animal feeding frenzy, or maybe a meat market… or even a complete conundrum to some.. Wait, you are how old and single? Come again…
Really you should ask, you are how young?
I feel like a cautious observer, not sure whether to laugh at the ridiculous or pull my hair out and move to Manhattan. Or perhaps back to Florence…
When you are the last attending the bachelorette party who can even entertain a naughty thought….
When you find yourself in the land of the high school sweetheart, or the land of “I’ve been to more weddings this summer than most people attend in their lifetime..” When you really cannot handle any more mason jar centerpieces… but your grandma and I are having a blast on the dance floor, she is up on a chair, waving her napkin in the air to Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” and attempting the pelvis thrust …. true story.
Jameson Ginger Ale, stat.
When the groom has unbeknownst to you, scoped out your wedding party options; and the remaining bachelor is ladling the pudding dessert directly into his mouth via the serving spoon..
Hmmmm I’ll pass…
Passing on the dessert too…
When a random mom at the wedding discovers your status, she is delighted, “Omg there is a single doctor over there, go talk to him.”
When you subconsciously start to check other their left hand first…
When a man at the bar approaches seven women and asks those that are single to raise a hand..
When touring one bedroom condos and the broker asks, “Is it just you?’
When the level of blind dates reaches unbelievable and friends half way across the country are trying to set you up… but you never know right?
When balancing a schedule of two dates a week is shocking.. I mean come on, you gotta keep up with the frenzy.
When you’d rather have a coffee date than dinner, because really, I got into the office at 7, I’m going to need caffeine to get through this…
Then you know. You are at that age in the Midwest. The age of the crazies.
I’ll just be over here laughing 🙂
O and balancing that frenzied dating schedule…..
Cheers to grandma and her naughty napkin waving!